Shame

When I was a young girl I was very naughty. I did stupid things for fun. I would play tricks on my mom, and make dogs bark, and act like a wild child. Then my very religious grandmother came into the picture when my little sister was born. she was helping my mom out with us. I didnt know about God or the devil. I didn't know about the bible. My grandmother made christianity so freaking scary. Her church was and still is like a cult. They told me that bad people burn in the fires of hell forever. Here is a list of "bad people": people who don't go to a christian church everyday, gay people, cheaters, liars, unfaithful spouses, sluts, girls who wear slutty things and make up, kids who are not baptized, dirty people lol, people who have sex before marriage, people who think bad thoughts because thinking is doing, women who get abortions, etc... All i kept thinking about was "damn i am going to hell". They gave me shame and i will never forgive them. Now i know how to control people, give them shame. Shame on your life. Oh yeah, people who dont feel shame go to hell too.

One day I had a dream about the universe and she said there is no such thing as hell. I really believe that. Ever since then I decided not to take everything so seriously. When I visited my grandma's church again after years passed, I felt weird. They were talking nonsense and I couldn't understand why they were teaching hate. I told my grandmother everyone at church were going to hell because they were the liars. they are the ones who believe the hype of hell. I think when people die they become energy that reconnects with the universe. sort of like electricity. it makes sense to me.