valentine's day

on saturday night, along with a good half of suffolk county, i saw the movie “valentine’s day” with three of my girlfriends. go ahead, judge me. i love valentine’s day. with our without a significant other, it’s my second favorite holiday after thanksgiving. yes, even weirder: christmas barely makes my top five holiday list. my roommate lectures me valentine's day saying, “why do i need one day to tell everyone i know i love them? shouldn’t i be doing that everyday?” well, the answer is yes. and if everyone actually did that, i might agree with her. but, no one takes the time to share the love. where is the love? the black eyed peas didn’t give us a definitive answer and i certainly don't have one. valentine’s day reminds you, and makes it socially okay mind you, to express all the love your heart desires. you’re "allowed" to give teeny tiny cards showing the disney princesses dancing in their dresses and asking you to “have a glamorous day, valentine!” or star wars scenes with yoda cut and pasted on top saying “looking? found someone you have this valentine’s day.” what is so bad about that? not to mention the chocolate and the conversation hearts and the “be mine” everywhere about us. it’s a perfect excuse to tell friends, family, significant others, the bum on the street…you’re important and special in someone’s life. and here's some candy to make you smile. again, what is oh so wrong with that?

that was a huge aside – and i suppose my defense – for seeing “valentine’s day” which seemed to be a celebrity dumping ground. i do enjoy my pier paolo pasolini or "lars and the real girl" but i’m a firm believer in everyone needing a good mindless movie now and then...even if lines like “she reminds me of sunshine” and “i can’t take this! i’m only from Indiana,” made me pink with embarrassment.

so i have to say, i was extremely surprised when ashton kutcher’s character, reed, seemed to step out of the box? at times. along with the majority of the male characters in the movie. each male seemed to play less of the macho, stoic, power monger role and more of the sensitive, caring, passionate, a.k.a stereotypical female, role. kutcher was super excited about his proposal to this then girlfriend - screaming it from street corners, and telling everyone who doubted him that she was the one. a highschool boy dating emma roberts' character was completely okay with her wish to wait to have sex. he texted her “i will always love you” after she turned him down (cue the cringe once again.) even more interesting to me was their dynamic. roberts' character was trusted and her opinion valued when she made her decision and to my surprise he stayed with her.

now, this is hollywood. i know. there were many times when comments and dialogues were extremely gendered and stereotypical.. but – i think it’s at the very least a step in the direction of a changing concept of the male and female. maybe it's even a tiny reflection of our society today. if hollywood is picking up on these changing perceptions maybe we as a society are taking baby steps towards new "roles" for men and women. this movie was certainly different from the teen movies i saw when i was in high school "she's all that," "never been kissed," etc. etc. etc. these were saturated with stereotypical roles that were then played out in my high school.

so, yeah, i saw "valentines day" and once i got through the variety of lame lines...there was an inkling of hope for some change.