friends

at what point do you start to realize flaws in your friends that are incompatible within the boundaries of your life? and do these flaws surface because of your depth of knowledge of them? Are these flaws always present? Are they a factor of growing up? Of moving on? of growing apart? These questions come to me because of the events that unfolded this weekend. My beautiful, talented, hard-working, independent sister lives in Brooklyn. I went to visit her this weekend and in between craft fairs and dreams of pie shops we went to her friends birthday party in nyc. To make a very long, drawn out, “real housewives of new york city” saga very short: she was attacked by her roommate, two of their friends, and indirectly attacked by the roommates boyfriend for something she never ever said. Me as witness, she never said it. Do you see how this is already a reality show saga? Horrible. They dealt with it, if I can judge the situation, in an inexcusable way by singling her out, texting about her, yelling at her, crying, literally crying, to their boyfriends about her, teaming up against her. Such eighth grade garbage and such drama! My point is, she has known these girls for years and they have always gotten along famously. They would go on trips together, spend weekends together, share secrets together, have dinner parties together…everything, I think, best friends should do together. So, at what point are these awful attacks overlooked? Were their insecurities, jealousy and selfishness always lying dormant within them waiting for some adult event to waken them from their slumber? Freud would agree. Or are they just taking out their depression and anxiety on my sister? And when do you say enough is enough? Life is too exciting, to full of adventure to be worrying about people that can’t accept you. Sure it’s okay to stop for those that can’t. that’s life. but not at the expense of your own mental and physical well being. And not when they are supposed to be your closest friends. are these thoughts too, as julian called krystle's and mine in class, “simple?” or too utopic? I’ve been called that before but, I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting what you want and not settling for anything less. I hope my sister finds other people to share dinner and secrets and weekends with. No one needs that amount of toxicity in their life.