Can one live multiple lives? Is there a mask we wear depending on who we are with? Does when we are with a person change our mask? Or where we are when we’re with them? This concept scares me. Are we ever truly ourselves? Is there one mask we always wear? Are we ever really happy with our mask? If we know we are wearing mask A are we thinking about how great it would be to wear mask B? this comes to mind during the course of events this evening. Do I have friends come over and watch lost (and hear the smoke monster in surround sound,) eat cupcakes, and google for clarification on a topic we’re discussing (mask A, if you will) or do I go to a costume party, throw a few drinks back, and scream to my neighbor over the loud bass resonating from the speakers (mask B)?
And does my decision define me? I don’t think it is the be all end all of your existence but – it certainly says something about you, right? If this decision is to be made daily, then yes, it could be an insight into your character. But, for one night, once in a blue moon, I guess the mask you choose is an expression of your character. An expression of your feelings at that moment. And in that sense, I don’t see the “mask” as a bad thing.
Then maybe mask isn’t the proper term. It connotes a hiding of the self and covering up “imperfections” and in a way fostering insecurity. A mask creates an anonymity. But then, does a mask give you license to be whoever and do whatever? I think so. So, maybe mask isn’t the best term. Maybe a better term is…layer, or maybe it is mask but it has to be a plastic mask, a see through-able contraption that you can sit in and navigate. but then, isn’t that just the body? And is the body then maybe a “mask” for your inner soul and being? Is your brain run like the “top sites” page on your mac’s safari? Meaning that you are always able to pick and choose who you want to be, what you want to say, think, feel, do…but you click on the webpage that fits you the best, at that exact moment? So instead of a mask maybe we can have multiple layers. Maybe we can be ever changing in our feelings and desires, depending on which one you want to peel away at that moment.
I know that “the only constant is change.” But, I think the concept can be hard to relate to ourselves and our everyday lives. We want a sense of stability. A sense of “I know myself” but this concept of the mask changes that. It supposes that we are in a constant state of flux. But does it suppose that there is one individual under the mask? Or one individual choosing a top site? Or one individual in control of our lives?
I think the term mask is unfair. I think it supposes we are hiding and shielding ourselves from the real world.
Layers – like a smelly onion – reveal or conceal parts of ourselves suggesting that we are complex, open, in your face individuals. And that’s not such a bad thing. So what layer do I feel like indulging tonight? The one where we analyze lost, and eat sweets, and google polygamy. For tonight, at least, that’s the part of me I want to express.
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